So all the things Fishie fresh dislikes are :

-The Oscars – let’s face it, this award ceremony has become a shitty version of a high-school graduation ceremony, with as much relevance to movies as the new Riverworld motion picture to the original book series by Phillip Jose Farmer. I mean, The Hurt Locker ?? Oh come on…just come out and say that Hollywood supports the USA troops in Iraq rather than giving a prise  for a mediocre movie. This subtle propaganda is just crap. I’m not saying Avatar was meant to win more prises cause I hated all the publicity and media rumble about Avatar and James Cameron got a shit load of cash for his project but still…The Hurt Locker ??? Jesus!!! The Oscars went down the drain once they gave post-mortem awards to Heath Ledger for the far too long and far too boring Dark Knight. This once relevant and famous award ceremony is half way to it’s transition to absolute shit.

-Uwe Boll – For those who don’t know him, he is the guy that makes movies based on successful video game franchises and transforms the stories and facts until they become unrecognizable and pure, unaltered and absolute shit, causing the video game community to have massive heart attacks and to need therapy for the rest of their lives. This is the guy who fucked up Alone In The Dark, Bloodrayne and Dungeon Siege, also fucking up actors’ careers. How can Jason Statham, a pretty good actor in my book, get the leading role in a decent movie, when he was seen as Farmer in “In The Name of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale”…well he can’t. Mr. Uwe Boll doesn’t make money off this movies in the States or Europe; he uses his own production company to get funds from the German Government, using a law loop-hole, and sends them to third world countries to be played. The movies themselves are so bad that they are all in the bottom 100 of the IMDB and RottenTomatoes charts. How this guy is still out there making movies is beyound comprehension. Also in a douche-bag manner, he started a campaign named “Put’em up or Shut up!” challenging bloggers to 3 rounds in the ring with him. He personally contacted them, saying it’s just a publicity stunt and that they shouldn’t train or anything, but when it came down, it was announced that he was actually a semi-pro boxer. He ripped new assholes to the bloggers in the ring just to get some steam off. I’m sorry mr Uwe but you are not a person who we dislike…we really really really hate you and I personally hope that some terrorists catch you and keep you tied up in a cellar for a year making you watch all of your movies. That should be punishment enough. I officially thank Blizzard for not giving him the rights to create a movie based on warcraft. I would have commited suicide. They actually told him “No Mr Uwe, wa are making a movie but we’re not giving away the rights to it and especially not to you!”. Fuck yeah!

TV – There isn’t anything relevant to anything on TV these days. I gave my TV away and am living a happy life without it. I hate MTV’s Sweet 16 show or Next or whatever crappy shows they have now with spoiled kids crying cause they didn’t receive a Mercedes or a Maibach on their 16′th birthday. I hope those kids die violently. The internet is much better in every way. Fuck TV…!

That’s about it today! See ya in a bit!

Below you can see first a picture of Mike before the unfortunate series of events and below, a picture taken upon his death. Powerfull stuff, not for the squeamish.

Horrific, mindblowing pictures. I hope you kept your shit together while looking at them.

Having this said, I would like to hold the eulogy for Mike’s passing :

Farewell Mike, king of lame jokes, lame boners and many gay-porn sites. Your body will decay, but your spirit lingers on to help your friends find solace in the loss they have sustained.  You said you’ll never reach 26 and you never will. But I’ve got a job to do. Where I’m going, you can’t follow. What I’ve got to do, you can’t be any part of. I’m no good at being noble, but it doesn’t take much to see that the problems of two little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you’ll understand that. Now, now… Here’s looking at you kid. We’ll always have Paris, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. Fishie blesses your passing and rejoices at the memory of the way you died. Hell of a way to go!

We will create a scrapbook with pictures of Mike which will be called “The best stuff from Mike Unt”. Coming soon!

PMS(Post Mortem Scriptum).: You still owe me that money bitch and I’m'a get them even if I have to go to hell and back for them. Your ass is toast!

For now Fishie and his prophets would like to present one of the greatest concerts in the last decade : Green Day – Bullet in a Bible – Milton Keynes – UK – 2005.

We just downloaded bought this DVD special and what a surprise it was. It covers the two days Green Day played at the Milton Keynes National Bowl Arena in the UK, to over 130.000 people, thus entering punk-rock(or pop-punk) history, as the biggest one-band show ever. The DVD contains 14 of the tracks that have been played at the arena and additional backstage footage and interviews.

I have only one word to describe this concert : Biblical ! This was one of the best live performances I’ve ever seen in my life. The best part is that it was a total surprise as I didn’t expect their live appearances to be so good. Billie Joe is a great frontman as much as Mike Dirnt is a great base player and Tre Cool, an explosive drummer. The unofficial members of Green Day were also at the top of their game and heavily contributed to the show’s success. The unofficial members of Green Day are :   Jason White – lead & rhytm guitar, backing vocals, Jason Freese – keyboards, saxophone, piano, acoustic guitar, trombone, Ronnie Blake – trumpet, percussion, backing vocals and Mike Pelino on rhythm guitar and backing vocals.

All through the show, you can see Billy playing with and encouraging the crowd to sing along, making them part of the show, as they go fucking wild. The thing I liked the most about the show was that the band emphasized all of the members(even the unofficial ones) and their instruments(this is something I only saw on epic bands like The Rolling Stones or Santana). Throughout the concert you can see Tre Cool making funny faces and throwing drumsticks everywhere, Billy joe and Mike running and jumping and just making it all happen on a whole new level. Add some pyrotechnics to the mixture and you have one hell of a show.

The backstage footage and interviews are also great, as they’re trying to create intimacy and give a taste of their lives on the road. There are a lot of personal issues discussed, band issues and fucking hillarious material. There’s a downside to this (according to some people) as the footage is mixed between the songs and kind of breaks the continuity of the concert. I didn’t find this upseting but as I see in other reviews(made by total fuckheads who concetrate on an out of tune guitar that sounds bad for like 5 seconds ,to give a bad review to a great show) this issue bothered some.

The music overall is very emotionally and politically charged, Billy Joe picking on George W. Bush(“my name is George W. Bush; but my friends call me asshole.”) and on politics in general, on a regular basis(they actually pick on Michael Jackson at one moment which is just magical ). Best songs in my opinion are Jesus Of Suburbia, Saint Jimmy, Hitchin a Ride, King for a day and Longview. To bad that Maria was not included on the  DVD, but besides this, I have no other complaints. On King for a Day they create a successful fusion between their song and the song Shout, originally sang by The Isley Brothers, which is fucking awesome. Throughout the show can be heard a lot of jazzy and bluesy influences in the interludes, which bring their genre to a whole new level.

The most charismatic of the Green Day members is by far, Tre Cool. The DVD has a special part dedicated to him with hillarious footage and quotes like : when reffering to the stage as they were preparing to go on “This is the place of rock, a place of worship, a sacred place”, when asked why there are no clouds in the sky he replies “Because god wants to see his favourite band again” or a funny song he sings “Roll, roll, roll that joint, twist it at the ends, light it up and take a puff and pass it to your friends”. He’s just pure comedy.

As a final note, we here at the Blowfish Central, loved this concert and as Mike says at one time, “when an European band makes it in the states they made it but when an American band makes it in Europe, they’ve really fucking made it”. This should say everything about them. Fishie blesses this union between his prophets and Green Day’s which He describes as “pure awesomeness”.

We encourage you to buy this disc, but if you can’t find it, download it as it is a must see concert. We ensure you that you’ll be anything but bored and you’ll find yourselves singing along pretty soon.

We leave you on a happy note with the song King for a day by Green Day, live at Milton Keynes.

All you hatees out there can breathe easy for today as nothing will be written of you. Fishie even gave us a website that will lighten our bad days from now on. This website is http://ihasahotdog.com and we guarantee it to make you laugh a bit.

Have a Fishie day everyone!

First of all there is the “Free Hugs Campaign” promoted by Juan Mann, whose sole purpose was to brighten up strangers’ lives with some nice hugs. For more details on this campaign please check out the official website http://www.freehugscampaign.org/ . Fishie and Juan Mann have common goals, only Juan is more of a people’s person and went to the streets with his idea. Check out the awesome video.

Second of all is the “Where the hell is Matt” campaign promoted by Matt and Stride Bubblegum. This campaign started as an amateur video of him dancing in Hanoi made by a travel buddy who thought it would be funny. The video was found on the internet by someone at Stride and Matt was contacted and offered a sum of money to create an ad campaign for the company, by dancing all over the world. Later on Matt realized that there are more people out there who could be better at dancing badly so he made the following video. For more details check out the official website http://www.wherethehellismatt.com/ .

Finally there is an amateur video we found on youtube which is just awesome. You might say this is the most awesomest and bestest amateur video we have seen in years. We don’t know much about the song or the people in the video but we sure love it. If anyone has details regarding the song or the protagonists, don’t hesitate to enlighten us by posting a comment or two. Get a load of this.

If any information we posted is incorrect or incomplete, please feel free to add whatever you think is suited.

Have a great day!

Fishie also hates Martin Lawrence despite his success as a comedian because of all the lame family-Disney movies he made that simply are crap(Martin, if you’re reading this, the Disney shit has money-hunger written all over it and has to stop. Please quit acting and choose golf instead. Tiger woods made it, why wouldn’t you ?), the tv series Rosie because despite of John Goodman being a good actor, fat people just ain’t that funny, Bill Gates because he’s earning in one year more than our country can spend in three(he’ll be fucked soon when Microsoft gets bankrupt by new and free technologies), World of Warcraft because it ruins lives and had no graphical improvement over the past 3 years, Blizzard Entertainment because they got cocky and started holding out on games(hope u get bankrupt on chapter 7 with no possibility of re-emerging muhaha), FOX Network because they only allowed production of 8 episodes for the Bored To Death tv series, Green Day’s managers for not organising an eastern Europeean tour and finally, sushi…Fishie really hates sushi and Japanese people who eat blowfish sushi…FUCK YOU JAPAN…such a great culture and you came to eating algae wrapped in raw fish ??? DUMBASSES!

*refers to Michael Jackson whose death awestruck the stupid masses into making his family even richer and forgetting he actually raped children…anally…in the butt…up the ass…with his nose on the counter and an evil grin on his face

C ya!

Fishie also likes Megan Fox because, well she’s just hot, the Na’vi from James Cameron’s Avatar because of their really tall, pointy-eared, boobless yet very sexual females who posess tails, fact which tells us something about sexual ergonomy, hardcore porn for being so hardcore, Californication(the TV series) for being one of the guiltiest pleasures FOX released besides Family guy, David Duchovny for being a sex addict which made him play Hank Moody so well, Seth McFarlane for creating the two best adult animated comedy series ever made(Family Guy and American Dad), House M.D.(the tv series) because it’s the best Sherlock Holmes based tv series ever made, Hugh Laurie because he’s a great actor and the first Brittish one, which accurately spoke english with an American accent and well, he’s just so cool, sarcastic and funny.

Finally, Fishie likes a shitload of chocolate because He likes His chocolate like He likes His women : big, black and in a plastic wrapper.

C ya next time!

I hereby announce the opening of two daily new categories which are “Fishie Loves” and “Fishie Hates”. These two categories will treat random issues that enthrall or disappoint Fishie. They will not be ordered or neat, but blunt and angry. All statements will be followed by arguments which will be irrefutable and indubitable. He who contradicts Fishie will suffer the full wrath of the written word of his trusted servants.

Please note that if articles for the above-mentioned categories skip a day or two, the explanation is that Fishie runs on blowfish time and he dictates when an article is published, or we got drunk, forgot to publish them and are being punished like the miscreant, imperfect humans we are.

Vaya con La Chupacabra!

As everyone connected to a local TV station or comic book store knows, Batman is a DC comics character, with superhero aspirations, without actually having any superhuman powers.

Batman’s story starts with his parents being murdered while mugged in a backalley by a hungry/drunk/drug abusing bum(known later as Heath Ledger or the Joker). After witnessing his parents being shot more times than Fifty Cent, little Bruce Wayne a.k.a The Batman is being taken into parental custody by his old catholic priest(pedophile) lookalike butler Alfred, who seems to never age. Upon his parents’ death, little Brucie, inherits a shitload of money with which, instead of drinking, gambling, whore-mongering and using drugs for fun, he starts rearranging the old cave beneath the mansion, otherwise very common in Gotham city, and pays smart people to create gadgets for him. From now on Brucie becomes a half a man(because in the comics and animated series he never actually has sex with anyone) and goes downtown every night to fight crime and save kittens from certain boredom.

The whole idea of superheroes, besides selling superhero merchandise and collectibles, is to make kids wanting to be them and to give them ideals on which their personality will be based later on in life. Batman gives them a lot of things to look up to, making him a perfect role-model. The basic idea of Batman is that if you have a shit load of money, you can do whatever the fuck you want, which is partially true. Besides this, Batman never gets a date except maybe with Robin. Wonder Woman, the Greek half-goddess with perfect curves and really long legs who likes wearing skimpy outfits, hits on him repeatedly during the animated series, but the dude never even tries to bond(or engage in bondage intercourse) with her, playing hard to get(by women) and never actually getting near one. On the other hand he is always seen saving and cuddling Robin, the under-aged gay sidekick, with a dumb smirk on his face, the smirk being there due to some ass grabbing and a bit of thumb up the ass at that last swing from a building. Fishie has provided us with actual photos and paintings(ordered by Brucie himself) that prove that Batman is a raging homosexual.

Let’s talk a bit about super powers. Well, there’s not much to talk about, because Batman has none. What he has is spandex/leather overalls with a pair of Kalvin Clein underwear on top of the overalls, bind in place with a Bat-Utility-Belt with a lot of Bat-tools stashed in it(something like a carpenter’s belt without the cool hammer hanging about), a Bat-Cape, a Bat-Grappling-Hook, a few Bat- Smoke-Bombs, a Bat-Mobile, a Bat-Plane, a Bat-Cave, some Bat-Hemorrhoids and a bad Bat-Prostate. Indeed he has some cool gadgets but so does James Bond, but he didn’t apply for the Justice League, he just kept being cool and elegant in London killing people from afar, while having sex with hot , rich and married ladies.

As I emphasized above, everything in his life starts with Bat. Everything has to be Bat-Something, which makes him the most egocentric, self-involved, white-trash, douche-bag I know. He has everything, from Bat-Soup to Bat-Bedroom to Bat-Toilet Paper and Bat-Condoms(which he would never use with a lady, obviously). He even has a Bat-Spotlight which he donated to the police to call him whenever in need. What the fuck…what is the point of that ??? Wouldn’t a cell phone or a beeper be more practical? Anyway, returning to the super powers issue, Batman is so ordinary, that Mike Tyson would knock him out in, like, 15 seconds. He would get seven shades of shit kicked out of him even by a lame hero like Spiderman faster than he could say Bat-Pot-Pourry.

He lives in a giant useless mansion sumptuously decorated, with big gay flower pots, huge garden and a really old pedophile-looking butler, who apparently never ages or dies despite his confrontation with a handful of enemies of the Batman. According to our sources, Batman, Robin and Alfred(the butler), have really loud threesomes almost every evening before going to fight crime. They apparently didn’t hear, that sodomizing under-aged boys is actually a crime, even though the legal age of consent is 16 in some states.

The conclusion we, here at The Angry BLOWfish Headquarters, came to, is that Batman is a raging homosexual, sucks as a superhero and is a liability to the Justice League and DC Comics.

Batman, if you read this please find out that Fishie hates you, we hate you and you should be put to sleep like the half-breed dog you are. We hope that Robin screws around and you get AIDS from him besides the testicular cancer we hope you already have.

BASTARD!

If any readers of this angry blog wish to approve, dissapprove, support, hate, love, criticise or curse in an orderly fashion Fishie’s writing or ideeas, we suggest leaving comments for every “article”, as we hope you guys are living in a democratic country which supports freedom of speech. If not, we hope that you’ll get rid of Kim Jong-Il, Jugo Chavez or whatever the fucker’s name is as soon as possible or God and his brother Jeff will send Santa and his ninja raindeers to smite the shit out of you.

Please note that your feedback is very important and means absolutely nothing to us. Despite the freedom of speech talk earlier and whatnot, this is Fishie’s blog so He and only He decides what stays and what goes. If insulted by Fishie, lower head for ring-hand smack procedure and stick finger up colon until oil is found. Please proceed to the nearest exits to pornsites when instructed by Fishie.

We’ll try to have good, family fun, especially when making fun of  people.

Good Day!

The Angry BLOWfish Team!